


Solar Eclipse

by rose_coloured



Series: Flowers and Stardust [2]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friendship, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Love, i am sorry i hurt courfeyrac
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 06:05:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12102393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_coloured/pseuds/rose_coloured
Summary: A heart isn't made of glass, still, it is able to shatter into pieces.A heart could heal, but sometimes that takes a long time.A heart breathed love and drank desire to survive.Jehan knew those things.Courfeyrac managed to shatter his.





	Solar Eclipse

A heart isn't made of glass, still, it is able to shatter into pieces.  
A heart could heal, but sometimes that takes a long time.  
A heart breathed love and drank desire to survive.

Jehan knew those things.

If you asked any of his friends, what they thought about Courfeyrac the answers would vary. From "a bit obnoxious but a good fella" to "it's like the fucking sun shines out of his ass and I can't even hate him for it because this little shit is so likable, it makes me want to die."  
If you asked his fellow students they usually said something about his cheerfulness and his good spirit. But one thing everybody mentioned was how much he cared about everybody around him. He gave everything to make people around him happy. And he usually kept his bright smile that made his eyes crinkle and his dimples show.

Usually.

But today that was not the case. Today he didn't smile and there were no dimples visible.  
When Jehan Prouvaire stepped through the blue painted front door of his friends flat and looked into the living room he saw Courfeyrac lying on the sofa. His black curls were disheveled and his jogging pants looked dirty. Jehan first thought that the boy was asleep, the way he has spread over the sofa an arm over his eyes, not making a sound.  
But actually, Courfeyrac was making a sound.  
His sobs were muffled from he had arms over his face but still. He was crying. Until now nobody had ever seen him cry.

Where Jehan was no stranger to crying when the mood struck him and Éponine shed tears when she was beyond angry Courfeyrac didn't cry.

But right now he did. Jehan dropped his stuff and rushed to his friend's side. It was only when he stumbled over an abandoned ice cream carton that Courfeyrac even noticed him.  
He was fast to sit up and wipe away the tears from his face. "Jehan what are you doing here?", he asked his voice barely audible.  
"You weren't at the meeting tonight and nobody had heard from you for four days!", Jehan looked at him. What he saw tugged at his heart. The broad smile was replaced by a bitten sore lip, his dimples were replaced by red blotches all over his cheeks and the traces of tears. Courfeyrac looked miserable, it was like somebody had turned off the sun. 

_A solar eclipse of a boy._

"Four days?", Courfeyrac looked at him shocked. "Oh I am sorry, I was uhm a bit out of it. I guess. You shouldn't have worried."  
That last sentence made Jehan gasp in surprise.  
"Shut the fuck up."  
He usually didn't use such strong words, but at that moment all his eloquence had left him. Also, Courfeyrac really needed to shut up.  
"What?", Courfeyrac looked at him in utter surprise.

"You heard me. We shouldn't worry? I don't know about you, but seeing you like this makes me worry. What has happened?", Jehan's voice had gotten softer by the end and he sat on the sofa gesturing Courfeyrac to lay down again.  
The other boy did and Jehan started to soothingly run his fingers through black curls until he felt his friend relax. But Courfeyrac didn't answer the question right then, pretending he hadn't heard it.  
Jehan didn't know how long they sat there in complete silence, Courfeyrac still breathing a bit unevenly.  
After some time he eventually broke the silence.  
"You remember that guy I told you about?", hCourfeyrac's voice was still soft as if he was afraid it would break if he spoke any louder.  
Jehan hummed affirmatively. Of course, he had heard of him. For the last ten months, all of their friends had been told everything about this guy.

"He is perfect! Good looking! Nice! Such a good kisser. Oh my god you should see his abs!"

But they had never met him, something that, in retrospect confused, Jehan because Courfeyrac usually was a social butterfly and loved to introduce new people to his friends. One time he had brought his grandmother's bingo club to a meeting since then Barohel was a member of them. At another occasion, he had accidentally crashed a tupperparty and went home with nothing but a lot of new friends.  
"Hmm well, he played me the whole time.", Courfeyrac's voice was barely audible but clearly trembling. Jehan's grip in his hair tightened and Courfeyrac yelped in pain. Immediately Jehan loosened his grip and went back to petting his hair. Courfeyrac had started to shake and breath irregularly again as if the tears were just about to come back.  
"We would meet, we would kiss, sometimes he stayed over and after that, he always just vanished. I called him out on it and he promised he would better but..." Now Jehan saw the tears.  
Nobody should be able to make Courfeyrac cry, that should be a law.  
He stayed quiet, this was not his moment to say a word.

"And all the time... He just fucked other people." A bitter laugh escaped Courfeyrac.  
"Fucked other people and now he has a boyfriend."  
The laugh turned into desperate sobbing.  
"And the worst part is..."  
He choked.  
Bit his lip.  
Closed his eyes and took a shaky breath.  
"The worst part is, if he would just say a word, I would take him back. Always. And I hate myself for being in love with him."  
Jehan inhaled sharply.  
He had not expected to hear that. While Courfeyrac was generous with his affection towards his friends or potential affairs, he wasn't one to declare his love that easily. To his friends yes. He told them how much he loved them on an almost daily basis, but that was different. That was another kind of love.  
The kind of love he handled with utmost care and uncertainty, the kind he only seldom experienced.  
Courfeyrac closed his eyes again, waiting for Jehan to say something. He let himself be lost in the motion of his friend's fingertips on his scalp. He smelled the mix of lavender and fresh grass that was somehow glued to the poet. It grounded him. 

Jehan closed his eyes. That had hurt. But it was not about him.  
Breath in.  
Breath out.  
"I... can't say I like how drawn you are to him, but I understand I guess." He touched Courfeyrac's cheek where the tears had spilled hoping the feather-light touch was somehow reassuring or comforting.  
"I want you to know that you can talk about this. Whatever made you not come to me with this sooner... I don't know. But, my love, you might not want to hear it, but the pain in there", he splayed one of his hands over the other boy's chest where he could feel his heartbeat.  
"It will pass."  
"I know!", Courfeyrac put his hand over Jehan's and intertwined their finger. "But right now I am not sure if I want it to stop. I've never felt like this before and I don't want it to just vanish."  
He sighed.  
Jehan let his gaze wander, not able to look at him any longer. The city was almost asleep. From the window he was able to see the lights blinking, only a few cars were passing by. It should have been easy to lose one's bad feelings and heartbreak in such a place that showed you new wonders every day. It should have been easy to move on in the hustle of everyday life, but apparently, people tended to get stuck with their feelings. A safe haven, even if a hurtful one.  
"You don't want it to stay.", was his simple answer.  
"Maybe, but I just can't handle it." he didn't look defeated now. He was angry. "I am done being used again and again just to be thrown away. I am done with people lying to me. I am done with promises nobody ever keeps. I am just so tired." As fast as the anger has come it had vanished from him, his features went back to pained.

Jehan had to control the urge to just bow down and kiss the frown from his face. He wanted to pepper him with kisses, show him that there was indeed somebody who loved him. Had loved him for years, had watched from afar how he had gotten his feelings played with again and again. He wondered how many more times Courfeyrac could go through this before his heart was beyond repair.

Jehan wanted to show him how he felt but held himself back. This still was not about his feelings, but about his friend. He sighed.  
"I promise you.", Courfeyrac's mumbled "Don't", was ignored.  
"I promise you that no matter whoever hurts you and whatever happens, I will be at your side." Nothing more, just the promise of eternal loyalty and friendship.  
Courfeyrac didn't say a word, just gazed at the poet with his still reddened eyes. He studied him as if he had never seen him before. On the street, an ambulance passed killing the silence in the room. Its sounds faded away still they just looked at each other openly. There was nothing hidden, almost.  
"I believe you."  
"Thank you. But I want you to promise something as well."  
Courfeyrac lifted an eyebrow questioningly.  
"The next time you are sad, you call me so I can keep my promise."  
"I think I can do that."  
Jehan gave him his brightest smile and although it still looked pained, Courfeyrac managed a crooked smile.  
It wasn't fine.  
Not between Courfeyrac and love.  
Not between Jehan and his own heart.  
What happened to people, who only deserved the best, wasn't fair.

But they made the best out of it. They spent the rest of the night curled up on the sofa, Jehan quietly reading his favorite poems to Courfeyrac, who listened and the two of them eventually fell asleep.

When Jehan woke to the light of the rising sun he felt a body next to his. He had fallen asleep curled around Courfeyrac, his hand again splayed over where he could hear the other boys steady heartbeat. He slowly rose, looking down at his friend. He seemed peaceful in his sleep, less disturbed. Not much later the boy stirred, slowly blinking his eyes open.  
The Courfeyrac in front of Jehan wasn't back to be the old one, but he was getting there. His smile seemed a bit more genuine in the dim morning light. They sat on the sofa, facing each other in the glow of an early morning.  
There were no words needed.  
Still, they were said.

"I love you.", Courfeyrac said.

"I love you, too," Jehan replied.

He knew they meant different things.  
At that moment Jehan's heart broke.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wanted to say, that writing Courfeyrac and Jehan is fun, but let me tell you, writing this hurt.  
> Still, I hope you like it and the next stuff will be more on the happy side. I guess.


End file.
